


The Texas Sharpshooter

by RedNightingale



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Lawyers, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Enthusiastic Consent, Hate Sex, If You Squint - Freeform, Light BDSM, M/M, Office Sex, One Shot, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-08 00:01:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14092602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedNightingale/pseuds/RedNightingale
Summary: “I said, and I quote,” he repeated, this time turning around to look at him in the eye with a self-satisfied smirk, “ ‘Do you need help getting that stick out of your ass? Because, y’know, it seems painful, and it’s been there for as long as I’ve known you, I’m starting to worry that it’ll become chronic’. Which I do, honestly, I’m worried, for the good of this company someone has to, and I’m willing to make that sacrifice.”-Because nothing good happens after 2AM, and Hux and Kylo should really learn to quit while they’re ahead.





	The Texas Sharpshooter

**Author's Note:**

> The Texas Sharpshooter Fallacy is named after a marksman shooting randomly at a barn wall, and then painting targets around the bullet holes, making it appear as if he’s scored a bullseye because that’s clearly where he was trying to hit. A way of fiddling with statistics and data analysis, which comes to show that if you can roll with the punches and can think on your feet, you can make everything look like it was part of your masterplan all along.

**** “Excuse me?”

Hux tried to keep his expression schooled, nothing but the raised eyebrow and the murderous glare as indicators that he did, in fact, hear perfectly clearly what had just left his co-worker’s mouth. His grip on the desk was leaving his knuckles white, however, which probably gave it away. Or, at least, would’ve, had Ren the dignity of at least looking him in the eye when he answered. Instead, he kept his gaze fixed on the paper bin standing in the corner of the office, where he’d been trying to dunk paper balls for the majority of their meeting.

“I said, and I quote,” he repeated, this time turning around to look at him in the eye with a self-satisfied smirk, “ ‘ _ Do you need help getting that stick out of your ass? Because, y’know, it seems painful, and it’s been there for as long as I’ve known you, I’m starting to worry that it’ll become chronic’ _ . Which I do, honestly, I’m worried, for the good of this company someone has to, and I’m willing to make that sacrifice.”

“I heard you the first time. I was just being kind enough to give you a chance to backpedal and let us keep the last shreds of professionalism.”

Ren turned back again, grabbing a sheet from the dossier Hux had given him at the beginning of the meeting and scrunching it into a ball. “I think that ship sailed long ago,” he answered, throwing the paper into the bin. “Probably around the time you called me an ‘incompetent cretin’ like, 5 minutes in.” The ball didn’t land inside, falling unceremoniously to the floor a good two inches from the mark.

“Well, if it quacks like a duck…”

Ren sighed, running his hands through his long hair. How he got away with that flagrant violation of dress code was honestly above Hux. “Look, all I’m saying is, we don’t need all that shit,” he said, pointing at the–now substantially thinner–dossier. “We can just go in there and wing it.”

Hux could feel the beginning of a migraine creeping on the edges of his consciousness, sparing a few thoughts to wonder if the headaches were because this conversation, or whether close proximity with Ren for prolonged amounts of time just did that to him. Perhaps it worked as an allergic reaction of sorts.

Being medically excused from having to work with him was certainly an alluring thought. He made a note to look into it.

“This is an industrial-espionage-turned-public-scandal case. Involving one of the biggest multinationals in the world. Which, if you still can’t wrap your head around it, means it’s  _ big _ . Big as in ‘billions of dollars at risk’. Big as in ‘requiring not you, or me, but  _ both _ of us working on it together’. And it’s solid… for the other party. Again, solid as in ‘having the CEO crapping himself at the  _ very real  _ prospect of actually having to face jail’. Solid as in, let me emphasize, ‘us being specifically ordered to work together on it instead of simply choosing one’. So I don’t think we can simply go to the meeting tomorrow morning and say our strategy is just  _ ‘go there and wing it’ _ .”

Hux could’ve sworn he heard Ren mutter something else also being big and solid, but he decided against dignifying that with a response.

“And your brilliant strategy is…?”

“It’s on the dossier you’ve used for basketball practice.” Hux pinched the bridge of his nose.  “We’ve been over this.” For the past six hours, actually. Present Hux yearned for the innocence and optimism of 8PM-Hux, thinking that with a printed version of his detailed plan he’d get his point across and be home for 10. Then again, that usually worked with people who  _ weren’t  _ Kylo Ren, who was apparently dead set on making things as difficult for him as humanly possible.

He walked to the cabinet and poured himself a glass of scotch. It had already been a long night, and it didn’t seem to be ending anytime soon.

“Listen, I’ve been winging cases my whole career, and I’m this law firm’s top defense attorney. We just go there, interrogate the dude, see what makes him tick, make him crack, paint him as unreliable, and Mr. CEO walks free,” Ren explained, and Hux felt honestly astounded that the man currently laying his feet on Hux’s mahogany desk had managed to even  _ graduate, _ let alone win a case. 

“Or,” Hux said, returning to his seat,  “we could  _ actually _ do our fucking research–which I already did, by the way, so you’re welcome–and find the guy’s dirt beforehand, so we can go there with a solid strategy that doesn’t depend entirely on face-reading and mind tricks. And I’ve won as many cases as you have, so top attorney  _ my arse _ .” He cursed himself for feeling the need to retort to such petty claims. Ren seemed to have an uncanny ability for getting under his skin, and having to be caged in the same room for hours on end had long ago mined both their patiences.

Regardless, he knew it hadn’t been the best decision when he saw his coworker smirk.  “You’re so cute when you’re mad. Your accent starts slipping.” Ren got to the cabinet, too, but took a glass of water instead, and held it in his left hand as the right one traced over the spines of the books on the shelves. Not like he’d find some bedtime reading there, since most of them were reference books for the job, along with some novels he’d been advised to add to ‘look human’. Hux suspected the curiosity came either out of boredom, or a desire to spite. Probably the latter. “Aw. Now you’ll shut it off and go back to the prim and proper. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Fuck off. Now read the dossier and agree with it so we can both go home and pretend this whole thing was something more than a complete waste of time.”

“‘ _ Let’s go home and pretend this whole thing was something more than a complete waste of time’ –  _ Title of your sex tape!”

Perhaps Hux had died on the ride to work this morning, gone to Hell for his sins, and being stuck with Ren for all eternity was his penitence.

“Are you done? I have work to do.”

“‘ _ Are you done? I have work to do’.  _ I’ll take ‘Title Of Hux’s Sex Tape’ for 500, Alex.” Ren seemed to be having the time of his life with this, and that irked Hux more than any jabs at his sex life ever could. “Seriously,  dude, you’re a goldmine.”

“ _ Back _ to the matter at hand, and if you manage to behave like an adult for 5 whole seconds, if you read the file I’m sure you’ll find that my strategy is the best course of action. I know you’re not a  team player. Neither am I. But  _ please _ don’t make me regret agreeing to this any more than I already do.” Ren opened his mouth, eyes shining, but Hux cut him short. “Say  _ ‘Title Of Your Sex Tape’ _ one more time and I’ll break your fucking neck.”

“Now  _ that’s  _ the stick up the ass I’ve grown to know and love! Have you heard about something called ‘living a little’? Have you  _ ever  _ lived a little? Do you even remember a time before that stick got inside you? The offer still stands, you know.” Ren then made a show of giving him a thorough once-over, lip biting included, which Hux was less than unimpressed with, and hoped his facial expression displayed as such. If it did, Ren didn’t–or pretended not to–notice. “A good fuck would probably solve the problem, and then when you’re all nice and relaxed we could talk about the case, wrap it up, and still be home for…” he glanced at his watch “breakfast. Fuck it. I’d treat you to breakfast. I’m a gentleman.”

Hux glanced at the clock. It was almost 2AM. 8PM-Hux had sworn that, however the meeting went down, he wouldn’t sink to his level.  Because it was not his first rodeo, and while he’d never been required to work in a team with Ren, short exposures during meetings had more than proved that, outside the courtroom, the man had the argumentative repertoire of a 13-year-old playing Call Of Duty. So he’d braced himself for a one-on-one meeting with a cup of coffee and the promise of a glass of scotch afterwards, and sworn that he’d stay professional and collected no matter what.

He’d put up his best fight. He could at least pride himself on that.

“Oh, you know that if we were to have sex, it wouldn’t exactly be  _ my ass _ we’d be talking about,” he answered, a smirk tugging the corners of his lips before he could think better of it.

_ That _ seemed to perk Ren’s interest, something that apparently 6 hours of meeting hadn’t yet managed.  He raised an eyebrow. “We’d see about that, baby.” He stretched his arms, and for a split second there one of the buttons looked close to bursting. Hux eyed it with suspicion. While probably a disappointing, yet unsurprising escalation on the never-ending parade of misery this night had shaped up to be, he wasn’t exactly looking forward to getting a button to the face.

“If you do your hookups like you do your job, I’m expecting some piss-poor attempt and then me having to do all the work to get us at least  _ somewhere, _ only to have to whisper a fake-breathy  _ ‘yeah, babe, that was great’  _ after the inevitable less-than-stellar finale. So I’ll just say it now and save us both the trouble.”

He knew he’d struck gold when he saw Kylo abandon his reading and come back to the desk, placing his hand right over the files Hux was reading and fixing him a heated stare. “You’re right. I do my hookups like I do my job: I never lose.” He seemed genuinely upset over the implications that he might be bad in bed, which could mean that either he was actually bad, or that he didn’t have enough experience not to be self-conscious about it. In any case, it surely seemed like a hot button, and Hux would never be foolish enough to turn down the intel, so he mentally filed the information under ‘to exploit’.

“Regardless, please look at his bank account, because I think we could be onto something there. I think you hadn’t reached that part yet on your paper carnage, so they should still be on the file.”

For all the fun he’d been having–more so now that he’d tasted blood–he knew better than to get the conversation further. After all, black eyes and split lips probably didn’t bode well with the firm’s dress policy, and while they’d managed to contain themselves during office hours, a deserted building and 6 hours of being caged with each other probably paved the road for the night to go full  _ Fight Club. _

He’d be lying if he said he’d never thought about it. He wasn’t blind, he could tell Ren was built like a brickhouse, and probably had a mean right hook. He’d really give him a run for his money. And it’d been too long since he’d last felt the spike adrenaline of a good fight coursing through his veins.

An alluring thought, nonetheless, but not one worth risking his job for.

He picked up the lighter from his pocket and lit himself a cigarette, taking a long drag and exhaling slowly through his mouth. Ren eyed him with a raised eyebrow, but if he had any qualms about smoking ban violations, he made no comment on the matter. In fact, he got silent for a small while, long enough for Hux to consider that he might’ve gotten the hint and decided to cut his losses and quit while he was ahead.

“How many pages does this have?” Ren asked, moving to sit on the table and skimming over  _ Hux’s  _ folder, which he’d quickly stolen from the desk since his copy had obviously seen better days. 

“About 100,” he said, exhaling a cloud of grey smoke. “They’re numbered, actually. And there’s an index on the cover,” Hux answered, eyeing the other man suspiciously. This table was custom-made. And the chair he’d previously been sitting on was perfectly fine. Jesus, didn’t anyone teach him any manners?

“And how long did it take you to write this?”

“I started when we got assigned the case. I, unlike others, do my job efficiently.”

Ren raised an eyebrow, and whistled. “Shit. No wonder people say working for you is like joining the military. Your sex life must be  _ so  _ satisfactory,  _ General _ .”

And there it was. Too good to be true.

He took another drag, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of a reaction.

“For both our sakes, I will not be dignifying that with a response.”

That, however, only seemed to spur Ren on. “Seriously, when’s the last time you got laid? Is crafting some extensive research over some dude’s finances the highlight of your day?”

As a matter of fact, yes. But Hux wasn’t about to admit that out loud. “My sex life is perfectly satisfactory, thank you,” he answered. If by ‘satisfactory’ he meant ‘not getting in the way of an impending promotion’, less so if he meant ‘having sex on a regular basis’. But, then again, Ren didn’t know that, and didn’t  _ need  _ to know that.

“Considering you scheduled this meeting at 8PM on a Friday knowing it would probably prolong well into the night, allow me to emphasize,  _ fully aware _ that you’d have to spend said Friday night arguing me instead of getting hammered and having sex like the rest of the office is probably doing right now… allow me to have my doubts.”

Or perhaps he did.

Hux scoffed. “Then, the fact that you also agreed to this overtime meeting without complaining even  _ once,  _ and that you haven’t received a single call  _ or  _ text in the 6 hours we’ve been stranded here also speaks volumes about  _ your _ sex life, and none of them are too kind.”

“I warned in advance,” Ren answered, but the hasty tone made Hux see right through the bluff. “Also, I will have you know that I haven’t received a single negative review about past performances.”

Hux grimaced at the use of the word ‘performance’. “Now, I’m no mathematician, but I’m pretty sure that if the total number of reviews is zero, the number of negative reviews also has to be zero. It’s kind of how maths work.”

Ren scoffed. Oh, so  _ that’s  _ what got him riled up. Good to know. Definitely good to know. “Really, Hux. How long? Months?  _ Years?  _ I could end your dry spell, you know. Make it go out with a bang,” he said, and a brief glance from his papers made Hux wonder if the man had scooted closer during their conversation, or if he’d always been that close to begin with.

“Oh, I have no doubts about that. I know you’d be up for it. Beggars can’t be choosers, after all. What I’m not so sure about is whether it’d be worth my while,” he answered, not bothering to look up this time. “If sex with you is anything like this meeting, I think I’ll pass.” So now Ren had changed from sitting on the table on the opposite side to where Hux’s chair was, to sitting on the same side right next to him. Was this supposed to be intimidating? Did Ren really think coming into his personal space would scare him into submission? Exactly who did he think himself he was?

“Honey, I’d make you scream,” Ren said, with such over-the-top bravado Hux couldn’t help but laugh.

“You’re getting  _ way _ over your head there, Ren. You either grossly overestimate your abilities, or think that just because you really, really wish for something it will somehow become less fake. Besides, if any of us would be screaming, we both know it would be you,” He said, looking up. “10 minutes, and I’d have you begging.”

He held Ren’s gaze, hoping it’d become tense enough for him to look away and change topics,  _ hopefully _ to the case they were supposed to be working on, and that by virtue of some miracle they could still get something salvageable out of this charade. Or for Ren to try to one-up, giving Hux more chances to rile his co-worker up. Honestly,  at this point in the night, both sounded fine to him.

Ren didn’t break the stare. “5, and I’d have you on all fours.” Oh, so it was the latter then.  _ Good. _

Hux put out the cigarette and got up, evening out the height differences their sitting positions were creating. “Honey, I’d like to see you try,” he purred, standing right in front of him, and probably a good deal closer than how people in a work environment usually stood.

“You would?” Ren seemed somewhat taken aback, and Hux wondered whether they’d both gotten in too deep in this one-upping each other and had crossed the line into awkward territory. However, Ren didn’t move back, so Hux decided to go all in.

“Bring it on.”

Next thing he knew, Ren was pulling him by the suspenders to close the distance into a heated kiss.

Oh.

_ Oh. _

So  _ that’s  _ what all that was about.

Hux felt a tongue pressing against his lips, and reached to thread his fingers through Ren’s hair, pulling him closer as he opened his mouth to deepen the kiss. Kylo groaned.

In retrospect, it had been naïve of Hux to think that their little pissing contest was anything less than some clumsy attempt at flirting on Ren’s part. Seeing that the man hat the finesse and the emotional intelligence of an anvil, it came as no surprise that he’d be so horrendously bad at flirting that it could so easily be confused with antagonism. Hux should’ve really known better than to think it could be anything less than bad flirting. Flirting that he himself had by no means discouraged, finding some twisted pleasure in making Ren squirm– and fuck if that hadn’t been the most fun he’d had in months. He’d not been blind to the way sparks flew whenever Ren and him butted heads, but he’d never entertained the thought to canalize that violent energy into… something else. And that was surely an exciting discovery.

And he’d been right–he realized with no small amount with satisfaction–about Kylo being inexperienced, if the way he was moving his tongue like he was talking wild guesses was anything to go by. What he lacked in technique, however, he surely made up for in enthusiasm, and have him someone want him so blatantly and so _urgently_ was something Hux could definitely get behind.

Or, more accurately, on top of.

He kissed back, running his fingers through Ren’s mane of hair. Kylo made an appreciative sigh at that, which soon turned into a gasp and a full-body shudder when Hux got hold of his lower lip between his teeth and  _ pulled. _ He was just so damn responsive, like he wasn’t used to that kind of rough treatment and didn’t expect it to feel that good. And so  _ loud _ , too, fuck, the breathy sounds he was making with each bite going straight to Hux’s dick. It was fairly easy to dominate the kiss, after that, and every time he made an attempt to pull back he was met with a whine and a tug on his suspenders to keep him from going too far.

“Those are  _ suspenders _ , not handles,” he said, when they finally parted for air.

“Fuck them, and fuck you.” Ren answered, voice coarse as sandpaper, and if the kiss hadn’t already started to get Hux hard, that would have more done the trick. “You come here, every day, with your pristine-clean suit, your gelled-back hair, and these—“ he pulled on them again, “these fucking suspenders.  _ Shit.  _ And you knock on my door and throw some files on my desk with a sneer, expecting me to just stay there and  _ not  _ jump your bones right then and there and have the whole office hear… You have no idea what you do to me.”

“Fantasizing much about the suspenders? Tying me up with them?” Hux asked, mouthing on his earlobe, and Ren cursed under his breath. The smell of his aftershave, mixed with sweat and musk from a long day, was intoxicating. Hux breathed in, ears ringing. “Bet you’d like to see me in your bed, tied to the headboard, completely at your mercy, huh?”

“The things I’d—“ Ren’s voice faltered when Hux started going down his neck, placing a beeline of sloppy kisses, hands traveling down to undo the buttons on the shirt. “The things I’d do to you. The things  _ I’m gonna _ do to you. I’m gonna fuck you so hard you’ll see stars. I’m gonna fuck you until you forget your own name.” He was punctuating each sentence with a roll of his hips, and Hux didn’t know whether to shut him up with a kiss and hurry things along, or let him keep talking. He settled for neither and sucked a hickey where Ren’s neck met his shoulder, earning him a shudder. “By the time I’m done with you, you’ll…”

“Your mouth is writing a lot of checks that your dick can’t cash,” Hux stated, hiding his smirk against Ren’s neck as he gently scraped a nail down his chest.

“It’s ‘ass’,” Ren snarled, but it probably came out a little breathier than he’d intended.

“What?”

“The phrase is ‘your mouth is writing a lot of checks that your ass can’t cash.’”

“Oh, so you  _ do _ admit it’s gonna be  _ your _ ass,” Hux replied, but before he could elaborate Ren was pulling him back for another hard kiss. While he didn’t appreciate being cut short on his crowning moment of victory, the hands squeezing his ass and pressing him against a hard, muscled body were distracting enough to make him forget the rest of the witty remark.

Now that he’d gotten the hint of what Hux liked, Ren was actually quite a decent kisser. Granted, there was probably more teeth than necessary, and Hux was sure his lips would end up swollen after this, but there was a  _ passion  _ there like Ren had decided to make kissing him stupid his sole purpose in life that was making Hux dizzy. He wasn’t even aware the undignifying noises were  _ his _ until he felt Ren’s lips curl upwards, and answer with a grind of his hips that made them both short-circuit.

So of course he needed to save face.

“Well, do tell me, is that your phone in your pocket, or are you just happy to s–“

“Is there  _ any _ way to shut you up?” Ren hissed, still close enough that Hux could feel the ragged breathing against his wet lips, lighting the nerve endings alive and  _ yes, good point,  _ talking seemed like a waste of mouth at the moment.

“Depends.” Hux licked his lips, and didn’t miss the hunger on Ren’s eyes as they followed the movement. “There’d probably be a lot less snarky comments coming out of my mouth if you,” he  brushed his hand down Ren’s torso, stopping to cup his hardening dick, “gave me something good to keep it busy with.”

“ _ Fuck.”  _ Ren looked wrecked already, and wasn’t  _ that _ a sight to behold. _ “ _ Tell me again why you don’t get laid?”

Hux looked up from undoing Ren’s belt. “I’m not exactly a flirt. I’ve been told I’ve got a bit of a stick up my arse. Can you believe that?”

“What was that about the snark and keeping your mouth busy, again?” Ren asked, eyes fixated on Hux as the man finally got rid of the belt and undid the fly, leaving him down to his underwear. The black boxer briefs did a poor job at concealing the obvious tent there, and Hux could swear Ren’s dick got harder just by staring at it. “Like what you see?”

As a matter of fact, yes, but he wasn’t going to give him that satisfaction. And he was starting to see some problems with the logistics.

“Shut up and get into the chair so I can blow you, I’m not craning my neck.”

It was surprising how little it took him to obey, sitting on Hux’s desk chair and waiting with a hungry expression as Hux came to stand in front of him. He took his sweet time doing so, enjoying how anticipation hung heavy in the atmosphere. He could practically see the hitch on Ren’s breath, shuddering out of those kiss-swollen lips, glistening and pink. His pupils were blown, fixed somewhere just below Hux’s eyes–his lips, he suspected, which was soon confirmed when he licked them and saw Kylo bite his. He looked positively spellbound, and there was something exhilarating in having his complete attention that had Hux craving for more.

But he wouldn’t make it that easy.

“So?”

“I think you already know,” Ren answered, aiming for annoyed, but the undertone of his voice gave his impatience away.

“I’m not a mind-reader, Ren. You’ll have to be more specific.”

“C’mon, I think you can put two and two together.” Ren’s eyes moved down, pointing at the erection tugging from the inside of his boxer briefs, rock-hard and already leaking with pre-cum.   _ Wow. Eager.  _ “It ain’t that hard. Well, it  _ is _ . That’s kind of the point.”

Hux smiled, loosening his tie as he gave him a slow once-over. He felt Ren’s gaze on him at every movement, a heavy presence that was setting the nerve endings on his skin alight.

“You know, when you’re expecting someone to do something nice for you, the polite thing is to  _ ask _ .”

Kylo sighed. “Okay: can you for  _ once  _ in your life stop being an insufferable prick and get on your knees to suck my cock?”

“You have horrible manners,” Hux answered, but complied nonetheless, kneeling between his legs. “This better be worth my while.” From this close, arousal hit him like a wave, realizing exactly how much he’d missed this: being on his knees, drunk on the power of knowing that he had those men–quite literally–by the balls, that he could rock their world and leave them a shivering mess without getting a single lock of hair out of place. Ren seemed so hard it’d probably be almost painful, mind no doubt thinking ahead of what was to come. Anticipation was probably killing him, blatant  _ want _ written all over his face, exposed and vulnerable and completely wrapped around Hux’s fingers. The thought of it alone was making him giddy with desire.

Ren was right: it  _ had _ been too long, and the sight before him was making his mouth water.

“Enjoying yourself?” Hux asked, looking up.

“You look amazing on your knees.” The rough, dark tone made a shiver run down his spine, and he hooked two fingers down the waistband of the underwear to pull it down.

It sprung free, finally released from the constricted clothing, and Ren gave a small sigh of relief. Hux placed his hands on Kylo’s thighs, giving one of them a soft kiss. He felt him tense and curse,  patience running short. That was Hux’s favorite part. He could drag it out forever.

“Yeah? Will you be thinking much about this next time you come to my office? Me, on my knees,“ he purred, gripping the base of Ren’s dick with one hand, “all for you? Will you be thinking about my lips on your cock when you’re sitting in your  _ own _ desk, going over a pile of dull paperwork?” He looked up, lips almost touching the head, and flashed Ren his most charming smile.

“…Wait. Is this all a ploy to get me fired? Is your plan to render me too horny to function so my productivity decreases and you can take my place?”

Hux laughed. ”I'm wounded. Do you think I'd be  _ that  _ twisted?” He was practically breathing the words at Ren’s dick, and he could probably feel it, because he bit his lip, and his thighs twitched, as if he’d come just short of bucking them to chase that warmth. It was horribly arousing, seeing how desperate he was for it, and Hux realized that he himself wouldn’t be able to restrain for much longer.

"Do I really have to answer?” To that, Hux chucked again, finally closing the distance to coax out the small bead of precome that had gathered during their chat. Ren shuddered. “ _ Fuck, that’s good. F _ or the record, if it  _ is _ a scheme to have me horny 24/7, I'll have you know that it’s working, but I’m really struggling to find a reason to care right n–” Hux made good of his promise and kept his comments to himself for once, closing his lips around the head instead, and the rest of Ren’s words got lost in a gasp. “–nngh”

“ _ Eloquent,”  _ Hux answered. So much for his promise. Well, he’d tried.

“Fuck yo–“ He broke off again when Hux circled the tip of his tongue around the head, “Okay now you’re doing that on purp– _ oh _ God– _ ”  _ he gave the dick a few pumps, keeping his lips sealed around the head, “that’s good, keep doing tha– oh _ fuck–“ _

Hux began taking him deeper, inch by slow inch, and with each movement Ren’s labored breath increased in a sharp  _ crescendo  _ that culminated in a  “Fuck.  _ Hux!”  _ when the tip of his cock hit the back of Hux’s throat.

“ _ Holy shit where did you learn how to do tha–“ _

Hux just hummed in answer, and Ren must’ve felt the vibrations because he threw his head back, hands gripping the armrests of the chair so forcefully the knuckles turned white. Hux reached for one of them blindly, placing it on top of his head. Ren’s arm moved pliantly, threading his fingers through Hux’s head. The weight felt nice, but mostly allowed him to feel the way Kylo’s fingers twitched every time he swirled his tongue.

Ren gripped on his hair when he did something particularly skillful, the most delicious breathy moan spilling from his lips. Hux went back for the same trick, wanting to coax that reaction out of him again. He must’ve found a particularly sensitive spot, because soon Ren was pulling on his hair like the grip on it was the only thing anchoring him to Earth, a litany of curses and breathy sounds coming completely unbound as he abandoned all hopes of keeping quiet.

One of his hands sneaked down his own pants to alleviate the pressure a little. He was usually more composed than this, but there was something about it that left him electrified. Then again, Ren did have a way to get under his skin, and that seemed to apply there too.

Infuriated by the thought, he sped up the pace, and one of his hands reached to cup Ren’s balls. He was rewarded with a string of barely coherent curses, and when he looked up he realized Ren was breathing heavily, his forearm draped over his eyes.

He swallowed, and was met with a soft whimper and a sharp tug of his hair, just on the edge of painful. He swallowed again, and began tracing the vein on the underside before pulling back.

“Look at me,” he said, when his mouth was free.

Ren didn’t move his hand. “Not if you want this to last.”

Kylo looked completely wrecked, and the knowledge that he’d managed to turn him into little more than a shivering mess was getting him more amped up than if he’d been on the receiving end. And the best part of it was that he was playing him like a song, and yet Ren probably still thought he was getting the upper hand.  Fuck, didn’t  _ that  _ send an electric bolt right to his cock. He’d never been that desperate to hurry things along.

“Look at me, darling. I’ll give you something to remember.”

Ren obeyed, at that, and as soon as he’d retreated his arm and his eyes had fluttered open, Hux took him as far as he’d go.

He was not foolish enough to tempt his gag reflex, so he covered with his hand what his mouth couldn’t reach and started giving his best, rising up to his own challenge. He was sorely out of practice, and it turned out a lot messier than he’d liked, but Ren didn’t seem to be complaining at all, if the needy sounds Hux was coaxing out of him were anything to go by. He seemed to have abandoned all notions of shame, and they were both lucky the whole building belonged to their company, and it was more than deserted by that hour, because had there anyone been in the vicinity, there would’ve been no way to disguise those noises as anything else than what they actually were.

That would be an interesting conversation, though.

“ _ Hux. Oh fuck oh shit oh– Hux, please–“ _

The needy sounds were music to his ears, and Hux relished in the way they increased in pitch as he sped up, Ren’s hips bucking slightly as if he was trying his hardest to stay still but simply  _ couldn’t _ . He bobbed his head, trying to give him a cue, which Kylo apparently took because he immediately started fucking his mouth.

Hux would’ve liked to take his sweet time and take him apart bit by agonizing bit, but his jaw was getting sore from lack of practice and his erection was a bit too painful to ignore. Against his better judgement, he found himself fantasizing about another place, another time, Ren in his bed with tears prickling on his eyes as Hux took him to the edge and then stopped, again and again, dragging it out as far as it’d go until none of them could stand it any longer.

“ _ Fuck wait please if you keep that up I’m–“  _ Hux started withdrawing his lips, but thought better and sucked on the tip, which made Ren pull on his hair harder. “ _ Hux I’m serious I’m gonna– ohfuck I’m gonna–“ _

He did stop at last, smirking as he watched Ren try to compose himself, still between his legs.

“Was that better than the sarcasm?” His voice sounded rougher than before, and while he didn’t appreciate losing his composure, he could see the benefits of reminding Ren of what they’d been up to.

“Cut that shit,” he breathed. “You’re still not out of risk, I wouldn’t act that smug.”

Hux smirked. “Are you going to come on my face, Ren?”

“I might, if you keep staring at me like that. And that mental image ain’t helping, so fuck you.”

“Next time, then.” Hux got up, brushing away the dust that had gotten in the pants from being on his knees. He pulled Ren by the tie into a hurried kiss. “Let’s move this along then, shall we?” Ren nodded. His pupils were blown, lips swollen, hair a mess. Hux couldn’t look away. “Do you have lube?”

“My desk. Third drawer. Keys are on my jacket.”

“I’m not going to ask,” Hux answered. He picked a stay lock that had fallen on Ren’s nose and tucked it behind his ear. “When I’m back,” he breathed, “I want you waiting for me with your hands on the desk.” Ren gulped at that, whining, and since Hux was feeling a little bit bold, he added, “you are not to touch yourself while I’m gone. You will stand there, still, with your hands on the desk, until I come back. Have I made myself clear?”

“ _ Yes.” _

Hux’s eyes widened, momentarily stunned by just how  _ into _ it Ren apparently was. After all that bravado and alpha male bullshit, he’d expected a bit more of a fight. Surprised, but not disappointed in the least, he fished the keys out of Kylo’s jacket pocket and gave him one last predatory glance before closing the door:

“And clear the desk. I am  _ not _ going to explain to my secretary that I need a duplicate of a file because it got stained with come.”

Ren’s office was just adjacent to his, and it had an identical layout. He sat on the desk chair as he opened the drawer, immediately noticing that it was infinitely more comfortable than his. He’d been asking Snoke for a new one for  _ months _ , at least since the last big case, and all he got was the runaround and a half-bullshitted excuse about budget cuts. And all along, Kylo Ren had been sitting his ass in a brand new chair. The  _ fucker. _

He smirked. Well, if he got his way tonight, Ren wouldn’t be sitting comfortably any time soon.

He opened the drawer, finding the bottle of lube right at the front, like Ren couldn’t be arsed to have the decency to hide it, also grabbing the pack of condoms before locking the door on his way out.

When he opened the door of his own office, his breath got caught in his throat.

He had half expected Ren to not take the order seriously and wait for him on the desk chair, planning how to get the upper hand back. And even if he  _ did  _ get to the desk, never would Hux have expected to see him standing there, hands on the desk, completely still, shirt unbuttoned and rock-hard dick completely on display.

Ren wouldn’t be the one too horny to function next time he attempted to work at the office, it seemed.

“Well done,” he said, closing the distance between them. Ren shivered. He placed Ren’s hair on his right shoulder to expose his neck, and mouthed on the skin as his hands grabbed his ass.

“Fuck…”

“Told you I’d have you begging.”

It took a while for it to sink in. Hux could practically see the grinds on his head trying to string two thoughts together. He took that as a compliment.

“Shit,” Ren said, probably a lot more desperate and a lot less angry than he’d wanted. “Next time, I swear, it’s going to be  _ you _ with your ass full of my cock, begging for more.”

Hux chuckled. “Next time, I’m letting you tie me to the headboard and fuck me until you run dry.”

Ren looked at him from over his shoulder, smirking defiantly.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

They were both getting ahead of themselves, thinking whatever this was would outlive the night. As soon as the meeting was over, they’d probably never speak of it again.

But until then, they could pretend.

“Who says I can’t?”

“I’m quoting you on that.”

Hux uncapped the bottle of lube, pouring some into his fingers and placing them at Ren’s entrance.

“Tell me what you want.”

Ren scoffed, gaze still fixed on the mahogany his hands were resting on. “Really? Haven’t you had enough humiliating me already?”

Hux raised an eyebrow, stunned, until it finally clicked, and he pinched the bridge of his nose with his hand. “It’s not humiliation. It’s me asking for consent, you obtuse  _ moron _ .” It was only then he realized he’d touched his hand with the lube-coated hand. He grimaced.

Kylo did turn around to look at him, then, eyes filled with something Hux couldn’t quite put his finger on, but as soon as that thought formed in his head, it was gone.

“Aw. I was touched, and everything, but then you ruined it with the last part.”

And there he was, thinking sex would make Ren stop being a brat.

“That’s a lot of bravado for someone with their pants down.”

“And  _ that’s  _ a lot of bravado for someone who just had a cock stuffed down their throat.”

Hux crossed his arms. “Have fun with your right hand, then.”

“Fuck you. Okay. Wanna hear it? Here you go: In case you couldn’t tell, I’m the most turned on I’ve ever been so  _ yes.  _ Yes to the dirty talk, yes to you bossing me around, and specially a big fat  _ yes _ to you shoving your cock up my ass until the tip hits the back of my throat. And I didn’t think I’d have to spell this one out for you, but if you could go rough on me and pull on my hair that’d also be  _ great _ . Do you need that written down and signed or can we move to the fun part at fucking last?”

“Gladly.”

Hux got closer, caressing his hair before grabbing a fistful and pulling. Ren groaned.

“Like this?” he whispered.

“You know, I liked you better when you were choking on my cock. You were a lot less smug.”

“And I liked you better when you were screaming my name. A lot less annoying.”

“Get to work, then.”

Hux pushed the finger in, as gently as he could, considering Ren probably didn’t have that much experience. Ren tensed instantaneously, then began breathing heavily, too even and regulated to feel natural. He could also tell Ren had gone a bit soft, whether by their argument or by the intrusion, and that wouldn’t do.

“You may touch yourself.”

Apparently, he didn’t need to be told twice, one of the hands steadying him in the desk traveling down to grope himself and give his dick a few hard pumps, bringing himself back to full hardness. Hux seized the chance the distraction granted him to move the finger around, hoping the pleasure Ren was giving himself eased the discomfort.

“C’mon, man. I ain’t got all night,” Ren said. “Get over with it.”

“Feisty.” Hux added, but obliged, pressing another finger in and scissoring them. “Careful with the orders, Ren. I might not be as inclined to comply on the rest of them. In fact, too much ordering might earn you a punishment.”

“Fuck, you have no idea how sexy you sound when you give orders,” Ren said, jerking himself off faster, “and that British accent of yours starts slipping.”

“It’s  _ Irish _ , you uncultured cretin.”

Ren visibly shivered at that, letting out a soft whimper. Hux raised an eyebrow, stopping his ministrations. Ren turned his head to look at him, then, biting his lip when confronted with Hux’s steely gaze. Out of the corner of his eye, Hux could see Ren’s dick, glistening with pre-cum, and he could swear it twitched just by the staring.

“You  _ get off  _ on my demeaning you?” He asked.

That seemed to break the spell, and Ren retorted by pressing back against the fingers, letting out a shaky breath. “Fuck you. And keep going.”

“Pervert,” he answered, and Ren arched his back, cursing. Hux chuckled in disbelief. “You really do,” he said. “Shit, you must be hard all the time at our meetings.”

It was time for Ren to chuckle. “You don’t know half of it, man.” Hux continued moving his fingers, until he came across something that made Ren moan. “Fuck, yes,  _ there _ . Keep going.”

Hux kept pressing against the spot, until Kylo was nothing more than a shaking mess, the hands supporting him getting unsteady. He grabbed another fistful of hair and pulled, making him whine. “Bet you’re  _ loving _ this,” he whispered, “bet you love just laying there and taking it, letting me do all the work, like a pillow princess. Where’s all that talk about being the alpha male? You’d probably still be begging for my cock even if I  _ did  _ let you fuck me.”

Ren moaned, mostly a string of incoherent sounds, and Hux noticed then that his right hand was surprisingly still. He looked closer, and realized he was no longer touching himself, but rather gripping the base of his cock to keep himself from coming. Hux suppressed a shiver of arousal, feigning disinterest with a click of his tongue.

“ _ That _ close? Already?” Ren nodded. “I should probably get you off like this. Finger you until you couldn’t help it anymore and came all over your fist.”

“Fu–ck, no. Hux, please– I’m so close, I need–“

Hux retrieved his fingers them, wiping the excess lube in a tissue paper. Ren whined at the loss, gasping to regain his composure. Hux took off his suspenders and undid his pants, the cloth falling unceremoniously to the floor with a metallic cling.

Ren turned around, then, watching him intently as he got rid of his underwear.

When he was fully bare, he looked up to see Kylo chuckling.

_ “What?” _ He asked.

“So the carpet matches the drapes,” Ren answered, still staring intently.

Hux scoffed. “You know, antagonizing the person you’re trying to have sex with might not be the best strategy.”

“Isn’t that what we’ve been doing for the past two hours?”

_ “Touché.”  _ Ren passed him a condom, and Hux began to unwrap it, but then hesitated. “Wait. Where are we throwing this after?”

“Uh, the trash?”

“We can’t do this.”

“Hux I swear to fuck if you’ve brought me close to coming  _ twice _ and you’re leaving me hanging as some form of practical joke I’m gonna –“

“We can’t throw it in the trash. The janitors collect it in the morning. If they found out we’ve been having sex  _ in the office _ we’re going to be fired.”

Ren scoffed, snatching the condom from Hux’s hands and unwrapping it himself.

“They won’t. They can’t,” he said, putting it on Hux’s dick. After being neglected for so long, the touch was electrifying. He almost moaned, but caught himself before it reached his throat. “Listen, you might be disposable. Shit, I might be disposable. They could probably afford to get either of us fired. But both of us? Losing this godforsaken firm’s  _ two _ top attorneys, at the same time? They’d go bankrupt in a month.” There was something fiery in his dark brown eyes, almost made black by the blown pupils, and he didn’t need to pump his dick to make Hux’s knees shake. “Together, we’re untouchable. We could be caught fucking in the conference room by the whole executive board and all we’d get would be a slap on the wrist.”

Hux shut him up with a kiss before an embarrassing sound escaped his mouth. Ren was soft and pliant, with an edge of desperation behind every movement, and every time they shifted their naked cocks rubbed together, the friction too maddening to withstand it any longer.

“Bend over.  _ Now.” _

_ “ _ Thought you’d never ask, _ ”  _ Ren answered, turning back around. Hux wasted no time grabbing his hips to press the tip of his cock in, digging his nails into the soft flesh.  Ren laughed, short and clipped.

“ _ What, now?” _

_ “ _ That’s what gets  _ you  _ off, isn’t it? _ ”  _ Ren asked, voice creaking at the end as Hux pushed himself further. “Power. Knowing how powerful  _ we _ are in this company. How powerful you are. I bet you jerk off to that, to the fantasy of running this place by yourself.”

Hux pulled on his hair, giving a hard thrust in revenge.

Ren groaned, the bastard. “Fuck,  _ yes _ . Like that. Go rough on me. But I know your secret now.”

“Well, you get off on my insulting you, so I wouldn’t be so quick to say who’s the sick fuck here.” He punctuated those last words with another sharp trust, and any words Ren might have used as a retort got lost in a moan.

“ _ Shit.  _ Again. More.”

“Pervert,” he added, picking up a fast pace. “We  _ should _ be caught in the conference room, just so the whole office can see the bitch you turn into as soon as you have a cock inside.” Hux’s breath was getting shaky, but it was worth it for the reactions the words coaxed out of Ren.

“Bet– bet you’d like that, asserting dominance over the whole– the whole office, like the sick asshole you are.”

“And you’d  _ love  _ it.”

Ren arched his back, then, and Hux quickened his pace, aiming for that spot and hitting it every other thrust.

“Hux– let me touch myself, please–“

“Has– has anybody told you how sweet you sound when you plead?”

“ _ Fuck you _ . Can I?”

Hux was getting close himself, so instead of answering he bent over and reached for Ren’s cock, pumping it hard and fast, in sync with his thrusts.

“ _ Fuck, yes, shit, that’s it, Hux I’m so close let me come please let me come please–“  _ Hux didn’t stop, and it took him another hard jerk to push Ren over the edge, spilling into his hand and all over the table, his arms shaking.

Hux’s pace didn’t falter, milking Ren through his orgasm until he followed soon after, coming with a soft moan.

They both collapsed on the mahogany desk, trying to catch their breath.

“That was–“ Ren said, “that was  _ definitely _ worth the wait.”

Hux got rid on the condom, throwing it to the trash among Ren’s paper balls. That seemed an eternity ago.

“I’m taking your word for that. If I go down, you sure as hell are going down with me.”

“If we go down,” Ren answered, “we’re building our own law firm, better than this shithole could ever hope to be.”

Now that was a cheap trick. “Fishing for round two, are we?”

Ren chuckled. “Gimme a couple minutes, and I’ll take you up on tha–“ his face fell. “Wait.” He got up, scrambling to get his pants back in place as he crossed the distance to Hux’s bookshelf. “I think I got it.”

Hux raised an eyebrow, but as soon as he saw the title of the book Ren was getting, it dawned on him too.

“Shit. Yeah, that could work. That could definitely work.”

Ren smiled, smug. “Told you all you needed was a good fuck, and then the meeting would go down swimmingly. See? And still in time for breakfast.”

“Your odds of getting that round two are descending at an astounding rate.”

This time, it was Ren who pulled him for a kiss.

“I’m feeling lucky tonight.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> "Yeah I mean it's a PWP, how long is it gonna take to write? A couple hours? Tops,"
> 
> \- Me. 28th January.
> 
> Famous last words, man. Famous last words.
> 
> Come hang out with me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/IDontGiveAHux)


End file.
